To address issues brought up in my previous post comments, I thought I would write another post.

- I have started writing my fancy thank you notes already. That way they won’t be piling up and waiting after the honeymoon. I just wanted to acknowledge that we have received it somehow, so I’ll send a “we got it” note now, and the formal thank you notes in a year.

- While I realize that some etiquitte rules say that you can wait up to a year to say thank you for the gifts, that just seems really, really tacky. My “how to write a good thank you note” book says to send them as soon as possible. Either do them before the wedding as gifts come in, or right away after the wedding. I agree with that system. Waiting 3-4 months even is terribly rude and makes people wonder if you got the gift or if you just don’t care about thanking them.

- Mike has lived in London, but there was a lot he didn’t do or see. So it is nice to know that he will be able to find our way around, and at the same time we will discover new things. Having a tour guide is good.

- When I went to bed last night, I was thinking “well, London is probably the best choice.” When I got up this morning and saw the Eiffel Tower statue that D got for me on one of his trips to Paris, I thought “but Paris sounds just soooo romantic.”

- Visiting both London and Paris has been considered. I’m investigating that further.

- When I visited Paris 13 years ago, I got away with knowing just hello, goodbye and thank you in French. As long as you attempt to speak the language in a foreign land, they are normally nice to you. They realize you don’t really have a clue - they just get bitter when you don’t even try.

- I loved, loved, loved Ste’s photos of Venice. However, I went there when I did the Eurorail thing in the early ’90s and got massively dehydrated. I was miserable. And there was no way I could read a map in that city. I swear that every single square had the same name. I’m sure being sick didn’t help.

- However, Venice has been brought up on the list. I want to give it another chance, I know it is an awesome city. When I was there, I swore I would come back with someone I love and rent a gondola. I really want to ride in one of those.

- Scotland was also brought up, but Mike travelled there some with an ex when he lived in London. That taints Scotland just like parts of Germany.

- Bavaria absolutely ROCKS. I have been to Italy, France, Austria and Switzerland - but could not wait to return to Germany. As mentioned above, I left a lot of emotional baggage behind there, so it might not be a good honeymoon spot. (The Danube cruise doesn’t touch my baggage cities, so it’s ok.)

- We have both seen some of the same things in Paris - like the Eiffel Tower. He didn’t go up in to the tower at all; I only went up to the second level. I swore I would return someday to go to the top. I visited Notre Dame, he didn’t. I haven’t ever been up on the roof though, and I love the Gargoyles, so I must make that trip someday. (Again, go and check out Ste’s photos. *le sigh*) I also want to see the Louvre. Versailles. A lot of other places. And I want a good photo of the Arc d’ Triomphe.

- Let’s be honest. No matter where I go, it will become a giant photo tour. Fortunately, Mike is ok with that. (He would have to be, otherwise I couldn’t have married him. Seriously.)

- I’ve never had a desire to visit Australia or New Zealand. I know, I’m strange like that. I also don’t want to go to Japan or really anywhere in Asia. There are some places in the world that just seem to call to me. I feel most at peace in Boston (I know, that probably sounds weird) and England and Europe just call to me.

- New Orleans is dirty in a way, but … well, we still found it romantic. When we visited last summer we had a great time, but it was too short. There is so much we still want to see there. I still want to go on the cemetary tour - that’s an absolute must someday. (Yeah, I didn’t get to go last summer. I’m still bitter.) It’s close enough though that we can visit on a 3 day weekend.

- We briefly discussed beach locations - Jamaica, Hawaii, etc. Then we realized we are city people, not beach people. Europe became the front runner then.

- There is a certain “stress-free” factor to returning to a city that one of us knows like London. However, I was able to get around the Paris subway system without any problems at all, so that is an option too.

Maybe we can pull off 10 days - 5 in London and 5 in Paris. Some down time, not moving around too much, but getting to see it all. Hmmm…

I have some questions, and I want *YOUR* opinions. Yes, you. Right there. Leave a comment and tell me what you think. Please? Share your thoughts. I *need* your help!

- We have already started receiving wedding gifts. We want to send out thank you notes right away so that the person who sent it will know that it made it here ok. Problem? Our “formal” thank you cards have our married name. I am not supposed to use them until after the wedding. I don’t want to wait a month to mail these notes. What should I do?

- The great honeymoon debate continues. Here are a list of citys, with the issues related to each one:

- Chicago: Fabulous city. I lived 60 miles south in Kankakee, IL when I was in elementary school, but we moved to Houston when I was 15. I’ve never been there as an adult. Mike’s never been there at all, and really wants to go. Fabulous food. Museums. Restaurants. Navy Pier. Lots of other stuff. Negatives? Doesn’t sound “honeymoony,” and I have seen some of it when I was a kid - I’m afraid that I’ll be disappointed by some things. Childhood memories not living up to reality and all that.

- Paris: I love the Eiffel Tower. We have both visited Paris, for a total of maybe 24 hours - combined. Less than one day each. We both want to see Paris again. It’s the city of love and all that. We have airline miles to pay for the flight, so going there probably won’t be much more expensive than staying in the US. Negatives? George Bush is an idiot and the French hate Americans right now. (I’ve heard that Americans that have loved Paris in the past were treated very rudely there.) Mike’s afraid it’s too touristy. He knows a little French, I know “Bon Jour.”

- London: I have always wanted to visit London. Always. Since I was a little girl. We’ll blame Mary Poppins for that, I guess. I want to see so many historic places, there are too many to list here. Mike lived there for a year, so he knows his way around the city - but he spent most of his time at work and never saw all the touristy things I want to see. He absolutely loves the city, and wants to share it with me. And the people speak English (with a heavy accent, but still - it’s English.) Negatives? He lived there, so he has memories associated with the city. That’s a pretty minor negative though, as there is so much he has never seen in the city - so much that will be new for us together.

- Danube River Cruise - This trip starts off with 3 days in Prague, and then you travel the river from Nuremberg to Budapest, stopping in Vienna and other cities. It’s a gorgeous part of Europe that we have never seen, and it would be nice leisurely travel. We won’t have to make decisions about where to go - we get an itinerary to follow, and the decisions are made. Negatives? We’re on their time schedule. If we like one city and want to stay there, we can’t - we will have to continue on. If the food is horrid or anything like that on the boat, it could really ruin the trip.

- Germany - I lived there in the early ’90s, and have wanted to go back since the day I left. I would love to take Mike to see Heidelberg, Rothenberg, Wurzburg, Neuschwanstein, Garmish and Munich. He would love to see all the cities I love so much. Negatives? My memories tied to Germany. There are so many places I want to see, we would be moving around from city to city every other day. We would have to rent a car probably to drive from one side of the country to the other.

- New Orleans - Originally, we wanted to go there. Unfortunately, the weekend after our wedding is the “Great French Market Tomato Festival” and all the rooms in New Orleans are booked. It was like a flashback of our trip there last year.

We’ve also talked about a bunch of other places, but I think the final three right now are Chicago, Paris, London or the Danube cruise. What do you think? Have you been to any of these places? Pros? Cons? If we go to one of the locations, what should we see? Have any tips to share? Come on, you know you’re thinking something about all of this.

The wedding is May 29th. 1 month away. I talked with a total of 4 vendors today. Last night Chelsey, Kymberlie and I went to have our dresses altered. (Kymberlie has photographic evidence - including a shot of her wearing my tiara.) 1 month. Flowers are set, catering menu is in, rooms are reserved for guests. I have finally learned why I hate planning things - because I am a freak and obsess over all of the decisions. It’s just easier to pick one quickly and get it over with. Sort of like ripping off a bandaid or something like that.

If you have an invitation and you haven’t mailed back the response card - send it. I’m starting to freak out over the guest list and the RSVPs, and I’ll start stalking you until I know what your answer is. If you’re in to that sort of thing … well, I don’t have time to stalk you really, so I guess it’s a somewhat idle threat. RSVP anyways. Pretty please.

We have no clue where we are going for our honeymoon. Instead of making the list of places shorter, we keep making it longer. GAH! I like the Danube river cruise right now though. 3 days in Prague, a trip through Europe, and ending in Budapest. However, we are still talking about Paris and Chicago too. Or Scotland. Or San Francisco. Decisions, decisions.

Ok. I’ll be ok. Breathe in, breathe out. Whoooooosh. I have no doubts about the wedding itself - but this last month is going to be crazy!

Wow. 1 month. Wow…

As Emily announced earlier today, Blogomania (aka - me) is sponsoring her “Win a Free Blog For a Year!” contest. You can go here for all the details. Submissions for the contest go to her, not to me.

It’s a writing contest, so show her what you’ve got! You know you have always wanted a Blogomania blog!

Here’s the full scoop:

You get: domain registration for one year (at the domain of her choice), domain hosting from Blogomania for one year (a $100 value) and a MediumMoxie design package from BlogMoxie (valued at $189). She wants to make sure the that the blogging world is enhanced by this contribution, so she is (we are?) looking for the best writer. Here are the rules:

1. Submit 3 writing samples. One entry can be on any topic of your choosing. The other two must be selected from the following list: most embarrassing moment, first day of school (any grade/college), a how-to (i.e. build a bookcase, tie a corset, piss off your neighbor, give the perfect blowjob, etc.), or a movie review.
2. There is no minimum or maximum entry length.
3. I will not judge this contest. Judges will be selected randomly and given anonymous entries. If you’d like to be a judge, please email Emily. You may not enter the contest and be a judge.
4. You will have until May 18th to submit your entries to her email address. Please provide a valid email address with your submission.
5. Winner will be announced May 28th.

Update: There are now runner-up prizes generously donated by Mice (a $20 amazon.com gift certificate) and Casey (a $15 Amazon.com gift certificate)!

The buy my ex-wife’s wedding dress auction amused me so much that I had to check out the page one last time before heading to bed. The auction has ended, with the final bidder getting the dress for $3,850.00.

I loved his final update on the dress. Ebay let him access the post again to comment on it one final time. In case you didn’t get to see it, I copied it here. (The rest of it is below.)

Because of the high profile of this item, I am changing the listing to Pre-Approved Bidders Only. To be pre-approved, please contact me at horseplaypublishing@hotmail.com and include “Serious Bidder” in the subject line of the email and I will return your email to pre-approve your bidding on the auction. Thank you for your interest.

Woooooooohoooooo! What a wild ride! The emails are coming faster than the hits. And now personal appearances. First Star94 radio in Atlanta, then King5 in Seattle,now the Today Show with that I-used-to-be-a-fat-weatherman-but-now-I-am-as-skinny-as-Regis-but-twice-as-funny Al “I will turn this car around” Roker. It is amazing; all this media hype. Hey, Al! Any relation to Roxy?

EBay has graciously allowed me to update this page once more. So I will keep it brief.

This one guy emailed me and said, “Hey, bud. What part of Texas do you live?”
Uh… Well, sir, I am from Seattle. Uh, Seattle, Texas. Right next to AreYouAFreakingMoron, Texas, which is a hop, skip and jump from IWasEducatedByGeorgeBush, Texas. Thanks for asking, neighbor.

We have a website coming that everyone can check out. It will be up soon.

Please only bid if you are serious. Or really, really hot.

The new house is off of Spring Cypress in northwest Houston. Houston is a strange city with no deed restrictions, so instead we live in subdivisions which have deed restrictions. Inbetween the subdivisions, especially on this side of town, you never know what you will find. There is still a farm across the street from my high school, but HP (Compaq) is right down the road with a huge sprawling campus. On Spring Cypress, it’s still pretty undeveloped. They are building now, but there are still individual houses lining the road too.

When we first moved here, I noticed a lot with a chain link fence around it and a mobile home parked inside. After a day or two, I noticed that there was someone in the car - it looked like he was smoking. As time went by, I would look at the car every time we drove past. Would there be someone inside? What would they be doing? Why are they outside instead of in the house? Do they get kicked out when they go to smoke?

It became a game for us. Every time I drove past, I had to look to see if there was someone in the car and I would imagine what they were doing out there. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, a car was always there. It was my job to be spy detective and figure out what was going on.

Until the day that Mike burst my bubble over the whole thing.

I was giving him my report on what I had seen in the mystery car over the past day or two. I had to fill him in because I wanted to know what he had seen. I had to piece this puzzle together, so enlisting him as my spy partner seemed to be only logical.

That was when he told me. He knew the answer. There was no mystery at all.

The person in the car was a security guard. He had seen him get out of the car one day to check the grounds. That’s why some days he was there, but other days I didn’t see him.

It was so simple, but I was disappointed. My game was gone. I looked forward to driving past there to see what was going on, and after hearing the news, I had nothing.

After awhile, there wasn’t a car there any more. I guess they didn’t need a guard for awhile. This morning, I noticed a small SUV with “Securitas” written on it. If that had been there all along, my game would have never even started. It may sound strange, but I still miss my guessing game, trying to figure out why the man was sitting in the car.

Now that I think about it, there is a small building on the property. I wonder what they have inside of there? Hmmm…

Whew. I needed a good laugh, and the bride man in my post below definitely gave it to me. Mad props to Chelsey (my maid of honor) for e-mailing me about it, and then calling me to force me to read the e-mail.

Today was one of those days. You know, the kind where you don’t think it could possibly get any worse - and then it does? Yeah, one of those. It was like news about different things kept piling on me, until I hit information overload. I can’t take any more news for today. No decisions either. I have another round of wedding invitations to prepare (I just got the addresses) and mail out in the morning. I have two web sites to finish. I’m up to my eyeballs in stuff to do - all of which seems to require immediate attention.

Tomorrow morning I have a hair appointment. I want to get it cut a month before the wedding so if it is bad there is time to fix it. I know it doesn’t always seem like it, but I am actually a paranoid control freak - I just hide it well some days. Then we have an appointment at 6:30 tomorrow to have all of the dresses altered. That is if I still have bridesmaids - I was a bit snappy earlier. I hope they will still have me. It was a bad day, but still…

It’s sort of ironic, being as busy as I am right now. I have gotten exactly what I wanted. I went to see “13 Going on 30″ this weekend, and it was a good reminder to be careful what you wish for. It was an absolutely adorable girly movie with a soundtrack that rocks. I think everyone should see it. I might just go and see it again myself. Even though it made me cry. Twice. Stop laughing at me…

Ok, I did have one issue with the movie. Jenna turns 13 on May 26, 1987. On her birthday, she is watching a Rick Springfield video, the Michael Jackson “Thriller” video, and is otherwise dressed for 1984. But they said it was 1987. I’m sorry, but those songs are like soooooooo 1984. Great songs, but not the hits of 1987. It’s the little things that you notice some days. The music and the blue eyeshadow. *shiver*

So anyways, I am alive and well. Way too busy. And obviously, I need to remember to laugh every once in awhile.

I found my ex-wife’s wedding dress in the attic when I moved. She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress. I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it. She said, “That’s such a gorgeous dress. Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it.” So, this is what I’m doing. I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer. This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill.

Anyone need his ex-wife’s size 12 wedding dress with no reserve?

By the way, he’s not ugly just because he has a huge white blotch on his face. The headdress and veil are included. The doo rag is not.

(The most amusing part? The bidding on the dress started at $1. It’s over $1400 now. The fact that he’s freakin’ hysterical in the Ebay ad probably helps!)

(In case Ebay pulls it, you can read the full ad below. I’ll add the photos tomorrow.)
(more…)

In the middle of the night last night, I couldn’t sleep. I started thinking about Jason’s Social Studies project that I had read through for him earlier in the day, proofing the final draft so it could be turned in this morning. I suddenly realized that somehow the ethnic background of Austria and Australia had been left out of his report. (I am quite the expert on the statistics of both nations now, thanks to this project.)

I was thinking that I could have him add the information in to the report this morning. It’s his work, and he should do it. Not me.

But what if something was to go wrong? Then what? We are adjusting to the mornings home together, I am still getting used to getting up at 6:15 am, so what if I overslept, and because of that he lost points? The teacher left it off of the second part of instructions, but it was an item he had to list in the first half of the project, and everything from the first half was supposed to be in the second half too.

The dilemna. What to do, what to do…

I finally got up, copied and pasted the sentence from the first report, copied the information on the ethnic diversity from the CIA information website for Australia, reprinted the page and switched it out in his report.

He knows the information. He has spent weeks working on this. It was just an oversight that the information was left off in the first place. If I didn’t fix it, I was going to get even less sleep last night, because I could not stop tossing and turning after I realized it was missing.

I showed him the error this morning, the information I slid in (all of two sentences) and the page I pulled out. He was happy that it was ready to go and he didn’t have to make the changes at 6:30 am.

I’m ok with what I did, but for some reason I keep thinking that I should feel guilty over it. So what does that mean? Am I a bad Mom that helped he cheat or something like that on his homework? Or am I the cool Mom that is looking out for him?

For three days, I couldn’t think of a thing to post. (Not that I had any time to do it anyways, but still…) Really, did you want to hear the excitement of me finally getting my insurance coverage straightened out? No, probably not.

Now? It’s like the floodgates have opened. I have about 37 different things I want to write about. Here’s a list, so I can come back later and write more. Think of it as the sneak preview or something…

- Stunning not shocking…
- Dude, you should have bought a Dell…
- Ceremony ideas and suggestions…
- The great photography debate…
- The bridezilla symposium…
- Catholic school uniforms…

… and so much more!

Emily “stole” my post about the ball yanking man. Ok, not really stole - she just wrote about it first. I tried, but I just was too tipsy to write about it Saturday night, and it was sounding all garbled as I tried to explain that it was some guy in the Greater Houston Area that I have never met. Anyways, I don’t care what he tried to tell to my friend, that crap is not “normal”. Ever.

Do you know how I realized my life has become too busy for my own good lately? This is the first time I have sat in front of a computer for more than 10 minutes since Saturday night. I feel like I have been zooming around non-stop, which is not a good thing considering I suspect that I might be getting tonsillitus all over again. I am tired to the point of punchy exhaustion lately, and snap at the drop of a hat. Whew. This weekend, things should finally slow down somewhat. If nothing else, I’m going to have to put the brakes on myself - I can’t handle this much longer.

Things aren’t all bad though - just really, really busy. Yesterday was Jason’s birthday - I can’t believe he is 12 already. Next year he will officially be a teenager, and I feel like it has all just flown by. I guess all parents say that to some extent. He had a fabulous birthday and got almost all of the gifts he had wished for at the last minute. I had asked for weeks what he wanted - he finally gave us ideas the day before his birthday! Thank goodness Mike was able to help me out and get to the store for the presents!

Yesterday was also the regional science fair, and all of Jason’s hard work this year on his project paid off. He got a second place in the engineering category for his project on trebuchets! He was so thrilled - he was just beaming all day! He wore his medal out to lunch, while we ran errands, and even to dinner last night! I am really proud - he worked hard this year, but it was a subject he really enjoyed (hey, who doesn’t like to fling things with a trebuchet?) so I think that helped make it easier to some extent. I think that’s the trick with science fair - find something you love. I made it to state science fair in both 7th and 8th grade with my project on photograms, kicking off a love of photography. Hopefully, this win will inspire him just the same!

Playing “I Never” on the trampoline in Natalie’s backyard with a margarita? Not a smart idea. A lot of fun, and very amusing. But damn. Not smart. At least I wasn’t drinking alone.

So, what would you have to drink to if you were playing “I Never”? Or should I even ask?

Busy with a zillion things. Invitations. Taxes. Wedding planning. Cleaning. Running errands. Shower last weekend. Easter. Jason’s Social Studies project. Tons of stuff.

I’ve got a lot more to say about all of it, but no time right now.

However, I wanted to take a moment to extend the invitation here to my Tiara Happy Hour Bachelorette party! May 7, 2004 at the Flying Saucer in downtown Houston, bachelorette party fun in a tiara! If you want to come - even if you don’t live in Houston - let me know! (Sorry guys, this one is just for the girls.) I would LOVE to see you there!

Miss USA is on TV right now. I find myself muttering “beyotch!” over and over as I watch. I ate dinner earlier, but this makes me want to never ever eat again.

How much does it suck that 51 women make it to the finals, but after the initial introductions are made all but 15 are kicked off - within minutes of the show starting. They don’t even get to wear their formal dresses. That just sucks.

Why is Jeff Gordon a judge? And who is that male MC? Is it just me, or are his cheesy comments enough to grate on your nerves?

I think it’s time I turn off the TV…