Quiet at the BPC…
Posted on December 27, 2003 by Christine | 37 Comments
Our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parent’s house turned out to be quite wonderful. So good, we decided to stay over there on Christmas night too so that Mike would be on “my side” of town and we could hit Fry’s early on Friday morning. We played LOTR Trivial Pursuit with Jason on Christmas Day (”Santa” brought it for him) and he almost beat Mike & me! It was a really nice day for everyone.
Thursday night my Mom got a phone call from one of my aunts. My Grandmother had had a stroke on Christmas Day. (They think that she had one previously earlier in the month, but the nursing home said she didn’t.) My Mom talked with my other aunt that lives there in North Dakota to get more details.
Friday morning my Mom received word that my Grandmother had passed away at 5:30 am. It’s hard to explain and it may sound really strange, but it’s almost a relief – she had Alzheimers, and she has been a shell of her former self for many years. The last time I visited North Dakota, she was not able to really talk other than a few phrases that she used to frequently use. She hasn’t “known” me or Jason for years. I made my peace with it years ago – but as anyone who has dealt with Alzheimers first hand will probably say – it’s like watching someone that you love die, even though their physical being is left behind.
I know she is in a better place. I am at peace with that.
The end result is that I’ve felt very introspective for the past few days, and it will probably continue for awhile. I have family obligations to take care of, a son to spend time with, and a household that needs some attention too. My online time will be very limited over the next few days or weeks. If you need to reach me and you have my phone number – feel free to call. I’m not sure how often I’ll even be checking my e-mail. Sort of a hiatus from electronics – I just need some digital down time. I’m sure it all makes sense – I just need to regroup, refocus, and find some inner peace that I’ve lost somewhere along the way in the past few months.
Thank you, thank you, thank you again to everyone for your support – I truly appreciate it more than I can express with words, and it is warming and touching to sense the sheltering warmth that I know surrounds me, both with my friends here in Houston and around the globe.
May you find peace ahead in 2004…
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37 Responses to “Quiet at the BPC…”
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Hi! I'm Christine. I've been blogging here since 2000. I am married to Mike. I have a son, Jason. We have a cat, Mona. We live in Houston, Texas.
I love helping other photographers and other small business owners improve their businesses. Most of my posts here are related to that, although sometimes I write about personal things as well.
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I am a wedding and boudoir photographer and I'm available both in Houston and for travel worldwide. I would love to be a part of your wedding!
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In addition to photography and geek things, I sometimes knit. I even used to have a knitting podcast, PointySticks.
December 27th, 2003 @ 11:18 pm
I’m sorry to hear of your loss.
December 28th, 2003 @ 1:39 am
Take the time you need, sweetie. We’ll be here.
December 28th, 2003 @ 6:03 am
*HUGS* I can totally understand how you are feeling as I went through this over the past few months.
I don’t have your number, but I will email you mine in case you want to talk.
*HUGS*
December 28th, 2003 @ 7:30 am
Good luck to you, and just remember that: She is in a better place.
I know that when my Aunt, and Grandmother both died, that was my reaction too. THey were both really sick, the one had Alzheimers, the other one had bad infections running through her…and it was really better for them to both pass away.
December 28th, 2003 @ 7:33 am
Sorry there’s nothing better to say than sorry.
December 28th, 2003 @ 9:26 am
I’m sorry for your loss. Hope the down time is helpful.
December 28th, 2003 @ 12:41 pm
Just wanted to let you know that we’ll be thinking about you.
December 28th, 2003 @ 1:08 pm
I hope you find the peace and happiness that you deserve as well in the coming year. Everyone needs a break at some point – take your time! We’ll still be waiting here when you get back =)
December 28th, 2003 @ 2:22 pm
christine, please know that i’m here for you and understand completely what you are going thru….
i think i’m in the same place that you are about right, just an overwhelming sense of too much to do, and never enough time to devote to any of it. you and i are the classic overachievers, aren’t we?
i’ll call you soon, know i’m thinking of you and that i love you, big.
jen
December 28th, 2003 @ 4:48 pm
you are an amazing woman, christine. i know 2004 is going to be a wonderful year for you!
*hug*
December 28th, 2003 @ 5:50 pm
Best Wishes to you.
I lost my Nan-nan and Grandad this year within the space of a few weeks. I know what you mean when you say it’s a relief, but it’s still hard.
I decided to take a break from the computer then too. I wanted to write, but couldn’t put anything into words, so I stayed away, spent time with friends and learnt some new crafts.
I hope your break is as helpful to you as mine was to me.
Take care.
Celeste (who reads your site daily, but is terrible at commenting)
December 28th, 2003 @ 6:04 pm
Take your downtime, Christine! You deserve it, after your family loss (my condolences) and being sick, you’ve had a lot on your plate! Kick back and relax for a while. Sending good vibes and many hugs!
December 28th, 2003 @ 7:30 pm
I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother.
Hope you’re doing ok!!
December 28th, 2003 @ 8:28 pm
Hope you find the peace in your downtime.. I’m sorry about your loss
December 28th, 2003 @ 8:42 pm
i, too, understand the loss and relief that comes with Alzheimer’s. i lost my father 2 years ago.
wishing you much peace and comfort…
December 28th, 2003 @ 11:11 pm
Hi. You dont know me, but I read your blog often, mostly because its the only other blog I’ve seen with cookie in the name and I’m a crazy little kid who likes to read about other peoples lives. Anyways, I’m sorry for your loss, but I look forward to your next post, as I’m a bit of an updte junkie…
December 29th, 2003 @ 6:21 am
I’m sorry for your loss. My grandfather is in a steady decline due to Alzheimers so I know where you’re coming from. Its a sad thing to watch. All my best to you for the year ahead.
December 29th, 2003 @ 10:48 am
My sympathies to you and your family. I want to say how much I admire you for knowing what you need, and taking some time to find it for yourself. Good for you.
December 29th, 2003 @ 11:19 am
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I know what you mean about her being in a better place. I went through the same thing with my great grandmother. She didn’t “know” me for years. I actually feel closer to her now than I have in years. I feel like now she can see how I am and what I have been up to.
December 29th, 2003 @ 2:02 pm
Wishing you the best. Sorry for your loss. Hugs. I’ll call you soon.
December 29th, 2003 @ 2:36 pm
echoing all the other sentiments already posted. i am sorry for your loss.
December 29th, 2003 @ 2:42 pm
Hi there,
Just stumbled upon your journal from someone else’s. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother… but at least, like you said, it sounds like she is in a better place now.
Fry’s, huh? We live there.
I’m in Plano, and there’s a new one right down the street… very cool.
Feel free to stop by my journal and create yourself an account sometime.
- Suzy
December 29th, 2003 @ 4:33 pm
i haven’t spoken to my grandmother (my only living grandparent) in almost 10 years, i think. my mom has issues with her (she’s her mother) and so because of that, i don’t feel compelled to contact her. i don’t know why. i guess it’s because i don’t want to defy my mother? from what i’ve heard, my grandmother isn’t herself anyway… hasn’t been so for years. even my cousins who live near her say so. she didn’t even attend my wedding. at least you made peace with your grandmother… in a way, i made peace with myself about my grandmother, knowing that i’ll probably never see her again. i just wish my mom would do the same thing. i’m sorry for your loss, Christine. a loss is still a loss… especially when it’s family.
December 29th, 2003 @ 6:51 pm
Christine, I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She is in a better place.
December 30th, 2003 @ 5:41 am
My thoughts are with you at this time of loss. Even with your grandmother’s health, the situation must be difficult.
My great-grandmother (who is one of the women I look up to most in this world) has only recently become lost in her dementia. I feel like I’ve said goodbye to the Gram I knew and it was hard but I know when this stranger with her body passes, I will still feel sadness. I don’t think it gets easier – instead you get a double loss.
December 30th, 2003 @ 8:40 am
Christine, I’m so sorry to read about your Grandmother. I’m sure you’re right about her passing being a blessing of sorts, and I’ll be thinking of you. Take care, enjoy your reflective down-time, and I’m sure we’ll all be waiting for you when you feel like updating again. {{{Hugs}}}
December 30th, 2003 @ 10:31 am
I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs.
December 30th, 2003 @ 11:40 am
**hugs**
December 30th, 2003 @ 10:32 pm
Christine, I am sorry for the lost. It did not sound strange what you said… because you meant it in a loving way. I hope you are doing better.
December 31st, 2003 @ 5:25 am
I’m sorry for your loss. My grandmother died in 1995 after eight years with Alzheimer’s so I know what you mean about making peace with the loss.
December 31st, 2003 @ 8:54 am
Just popping in to wish you a Happy New Year! Hope you’re R&Ring, Christine.
December 31st, 2003 @ 9:02 am
My mother is bipolar and because of the medication she’s on, hasn’t been “herself” for years. You do sort of make peace with it even if the person is still physically around.
December 31st, 2003 @ 4:46 pm
So sorry to hear about your grandmother, Christine. Enjoy your time off, and have a good New Year.
December 31st, 2003 @ 9:47 pm
Sorry to hear of your loss (((hugs)))
January 1st, 2004 @ 1:14 am
Happy New Year Christine
Hope it’s a great one for all of us!
January 1st, 2004 @ 6:52 pm
so sorry to hear of your loss. *hugs*
December 28th, 2003 @ 8:43 am
Another Death in the Family
Like Christine Post: Quiet at the BPC”>lost her grandmother this past week, I think I will be losing a relative within the next day or two. My aunt, or rather she would be my great aunt, got a cold a…