Christine ™ aka Big Pink Cookie To Make a Short Story Long…

Posted
by Christine
27 December 2003 @ 11pm

Tagged
BlahBlahBabble

Quiet at the BPC…

Our Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at my parent’s house turned out to be quite wonderful. So good, we decided to stay over there on Christmas night too so that Mike would be on “my side” of town and we could hit Fry’s early on Friday morning. We played LOTR Trivial Pursuit with Jason on Christmas Day (”Santa” brought it for him) and he almost beat Mike & me! It was a really nice day for everyone.

Thursday night my Mom got a phone call from one of my aunts. My Grandmother had had a stroke on Christmas Day. (They think that she had one previously earlier in the month, but the nursing home said she didn’t.) My Mom talked with my other aunt that lives there in North Dakota to get more details.

Friday morning my Mom received word that my Grandmother had passed away at 5:30 am. It’s hard to explain and it may sound really strange, but it’s almost a relief - she had Alzheimers, and she has been a shell of her former self for many years. The last time I visited North Dakota, she was not able to really talk other than a few phrases that she used to frequently use. She hasn’t “known” me or Jason for years. I made my peace with it years ago - but as anyone who has dealt with Alzheimers first hand will probably say - it’s like watching someone that you love die, even though their physical being is left behind.

I know she is in a better place. I am at peace with that.

The end result is that I’ve felt very introspective for the past few days, and it will probably continue for awhile. I have family obligations to take care of, a son to spend time with, and a household that needs some attention too. My online time will be very limited over the next few days or weeks. If you need to reach me and you have my phone number - feel free to call. I’m not sure how often I’ll even be checking my e-mail. Sort of a hiatus from electronics - I just need some digital down time. I’m sure it all makes sense - I just need to regroup, refocus, and find some inner peace that I’ve lost somewhere along the way in the past few months.

Thank you, thank you, thank you again to everyone for your support - I truly appreciate it more than I can express with words, and it is warming and touching to sense the sheltering warmth that I know surrounds me, both with my friends here in Houston and around the globe.

May you find peace ahead in 2004…


37 Comments

Posted by
kat
27 December 2003 @ 11pm

I’m sorry to hear of your loss.


Posted by
Tracy
28 December 2003 @ 1am

Take the time you need, sweetie. We’ll be here.


Posted by
Sara
28 December 2003 @ 6am

*HUGS* I can totally understand how you are feeling as I went through this over the past few months.

I don’t have your number, but I will email you mine in case you want to talk.

*HUGS*


Posted by
The Queer
28 December 2003 @ 7am

Good luck to you, and just remember that: She is in a better place.

I know that when my Aunt, and Grandmother both died, that was my reaction too. THey were both really sick, the one had Alzheimers, the other one had bad infections running through her…and it was really better for them to both pass away.


Posted by
Solonor
28 December 2003 @ 7am

Sorry there’s nothing better to say than sorry. :(


Posted by
The Queer Dot Net
28 December 2003 @ 8am

Another Death in the Family
Like Christine Post: Quiet at the BPC”>lost her grandmother this past week, I think I will be losing a relative within the next day or two. My aunt, or rather she would be my great aunt, got a cold a…


Posted by
sasoozie
28 December 2003 @ 9am

I’m sorry for your loss. Hope the down time is helpful.


Posted by
Kevin
28 December 2003 @ 12pm

Just wanted to let you know that we’ll be thinking about you.


Posted by
Michelle
28 December 2003 @ 1pm

I hope you find the peace and happiness that you deserve as well in the coming year. Everyone needs a break at some point - take your time! We’ll still be waiting here when you get back =)


Posted by
jen
28 December 2003 @ 2pm

christine, please know that i’m here for you and understand completely what you are going thru….

i think i’m in the same place that you are about right, just an overwhelming sense of too much to do, and never enough time to devote to any of it. you and i are the classic overachievers, aren’t we?

i’ll call you soon, know i’m thinking of you and that i love you, big.

jen


Posted by
susannah
28 December 2003 @ 4pm

you are an amazing woman, christine. i know 2004 is going to be a wonderful year for you! :) *hug*


Posted by
Celeste
28 December 2003 @ 5pm

Best Wishes to you.
I lost my Nan-nan and Grandad this year within the space of a few weeks. I know what you mean when you say it’s a relief, but it’s still hard.
I decided to take a break from the computer then too. I wanted to write, but couldn’t put anything into words, so I stayed away, spent time with friends and learnt some new crafts.
I hope your break is as helpful to you as mine was to me.
Take care.
Celeste (who reads your site daily, but is terrible at commenting)


Posted by
liz
28 December 2003 @ 6pm

Take your downtime, Christine! You deserve it, after your family loss (my condolences) and being sick, you’ve had a lot on your plate! Kick back and relax for a while. Sending good vibes and many hugs!


Posted by
Jennifer
28 December 2003 @ 7pm

I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. :( Hope you’re doing ok!!


Posted by
heather
28 December 2003 @ 8pm

Hope you find the peace in your downtime.. I’m sorry about your loss :(


Posted by
ratty
28 December 2003 @ 8pm

i, too, understand the loss and relief that comes with Alzheimer’s. i lost my father 2 years ago.

wishing you much peace and comfort…


Posted by
The other cookie
28 December 2003 @ 11pm

Hi. You dont know me, but I read your blog often, mostly because its the only other blog I’ve seen with cookie in the name and I’m a crazy little kid who likes to read about other peoples lives. Anyways, I’m sorry for your loss, but I look forward to your next post, as I’m a bit of an updte junkie…


Posted by
Chris
29 December 2003 @ 6am

I’m sorry for your loss. My grandfather is in a steady decline due to Alzheimers so I know where you’re coming from. Its a sad thing to watch. All my best to you for the year ahead.


Posted by
theProcrastinatrix
29 December 2003 @ 10am

My sympathies to you and your family. I want to say how much I admire you for knowing what you need, and taking some time to find it for yourself. Good for you. :)


Posted by
Ash
29 December 2003 @ 11am

I’m so sorry about your grandmother. I know what you mean about her being in a better place. I went through the same thing with my great grandmother. She didn’t “know” me for years. I actually feel closer to her now than I have in years. I feel like now she can see how I am and what I have been up to.


Posted by
syd
29 December 2003 @ 2pm

Wishing you the best. Sorry for your loss. Hugs. I’ll call you soon.


Posted by
kdeweb
29 December 2003 @ 2pm

echoing all the other sentiments already posted. i am sorry for your loss.


Posted by
Susan
29 December 2003 @ 2pm

Hi there,

Just stumbled upon your journal from someone else’s. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother… but at least, like you said, it sounds like she is in a better place now.

Fry’s, huh? We live there. :) I’m in Plano, and there’s a new one right down the street… very cool.

Feel free to stop by my journal and create yourself an account sometime. :)
- Suzy


Posted by
kathy
29 December 2003 @ 4pm

i haven’t spoken to my grandmother (my only living grandparent) in almost 10 years, i think. my mom has issues with her (she’s her mother) and so because of that, i don’t feel compelled to contact her. i don’t know why. i guess it’s because i don’t want to defy my mother? from what i’ve heard, my grandmother isn’t herself anyway… hasn’t been so for years. even my cousins who live near her say so. she didn’t even attend my wedding. at least you made peace with your grandmother… in a way, i made peace with myself about my grandmother, knowing that i’ll probably never see her again. i just wish my mom would do the same thing. i’m sorry for your loss, Christine. a loss is still a loss… especially when it’s family.


Posted by
Shawn
29 December 2003 @ 6pm

Christine, I’m so sorry to hear about your grandmother. She is in a better place.


Posted by
Angela
30 December 2003 @ 5am

My thoughts are with you at this time of loss. Even with your grandmother’s health, the situation must be difficult.

My great-grandmother (who is one of the women I look up to most in this world) has only recently become lost in her dementia. I feel like I’ve said goodbye to the Gram I knew and it was hard but I know when this stranger with her body passes, I will still feel sadness. I don’t think it gets easier - instead you get a double loss.


Posted by
Hey Lisa
30 December 2003 @ 8am

Christine, I’m so sorry to read about your Grandmother. I’m sure you’re right about her passing being a blessing of sorts, and I’ll be thinking of you. Take care, enjoy your reflective down-time, and I’m sure we’ll all be waiting for you when you feel like updating again. {{{Hugs}}}


Posted by
Jenn
30 December 2003 @ 10am

I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs.


Posted by
roni
30 December 2003 @ 11am

**hugs**


Posted by
PJ
30 December 2003 @ 10pm

Christine, I am sorry for the lost. It did not sound strange what you said… because you meant it in a loving way. I hope you are doing better.


Posted by
Jenne
31 December 2003 @ 5am

I’m sorry for your loss. My grandmother died in 1995 after eight years with Alzheimer’s so I know what you mean about making peace with the loss.


Posted by
liz
31 December 2003 @ 8am

Just popping in to wish you a Happy New Year! Hope you’re R&Ring, Christine. :)


Posted by
SER
31 December 2003 @ 9am

My mother is bipolar and because of the medication she’s on, hasn’t been “herself” for years. You do sort of make peace with it even if the person is still physically around.


Posted by
Stacey
31 December 2003 @ 4pm

So sorry to hear about your grandmother, Christine. Enjoy your time off, and have a good New Year.


Posted by
gingersmack
31 December 2003 @ 9pm

Sorry to hear of your loss (((hugs)))


Posted by
Michelle
1 January 2004 @ 1am

Happy New Year Christine :) Hope it’s a great one for all of us!


Posted by
munin
1 January 2004 @ 6pm

so sorry to hear of your loss. *hugs*


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