Christine ™ aka Big Pink Cookie To Make a Short Story Long…

Standing Up…

This post started all nice and sweet. Then it got less sweet. Then it became way too long and overly passionate. Now I just have to say what I think and how I feel.

Drama has flared up in the Blogosphere again, and I wasn’t going to say anything - again. I was going to let the latest drama just fly on by, because I don’t read the site that was home to the drama (avoiding it is best for my stress levels) and I was only hearing about it from others. But after spending some time reading and re-reading Trish’s post, I could not sit in silence anymore. (By the way, if this post is full of holes for you, you can fill them in there.) It’s the same thing, every time. Every month or two, someone gets roasted - and I want to make it clear that I am far from the flames.

I’ve been venting for months that I get so frustrated at times that people associate my blogs with other blogs. I write for me, for myself, and share what I think. My blog is a drama free zone. Last time I think I went off on a troll, it was someone that I still suspect was either my former employer or my ex - and that was about two years ago. Flame wars don’t happen here and that’s a good thing.

The bad thing is that I am afraid that people assume that they can’t comment here because of the circle they think I’m a part of, that they think they aren’t one of my friends so they can’t, or the worst, they associate me with other bloggers that tend to send posses after people. Yes, I’ve written about all of this before, always in vague terms.

That is not me. I am not one of them.

I don’t read the blogs you probably think I read, and I don’t want to be thought of as one of them.

And I’ve been too chickenshit for the past 7 months to just flat out say that.

I’m shaking like a leaf just saying it now.

How freakin’ sad is that? How wrong is it that I am actually afraid to speak out on my own blog and say “I am not one of them” because I fear the wrath of those words?

NO blogger should cause people to shake with fear. NO ONE. And yet there are some that do. They have this power, and they don’t care how they weild it or who it hurts. With great power comes great responsibility. Power abused is a terrible thing. And I am sick and tired of it. I am tired of people assuming that I’m like that. I am tired of meeting bloggers in person, and being asked about the Blogosphere drama queen.

I don’t have the answers. I haven’t for months. I’ve tried to sort it out, I used to make excuses, and then I walked away. I couldn’t take it any more. It’s like a cult, and I left. Which is never easy. It’s not easy for me to walk away from someone that for over a year I considered a close friend. I haven’t felt that way for months now, and I don’t think I ever will again in this case. Normally I try to repair friendships, but I have seen this unending pattern for some time now, and I don’t think there is a fix. I decided long ago, after witnessing things that happened offline, no more. But I kept it to myself.

So many people have been hurt by this behavior in the past. People have stopped blogging because of attacks, or taken their sites to hidden spots to avoid further abuse. When you reach the point of contacting someone’s employer because of things said online, that is going too far. It disgusts me even more to hear that people are cheering this behavior on. If there is more to the story, that’s fine - but don’t post half of it and not the rest. Take it private.

What point has the blog society reached? Is this really how we want to treat each other?

It’s not how I want to treat anyone, and I never want to be treated like that. Blacklist me, delink me, block my e-mails, whatever. I don’t care. I refuse to live in fear. I was asked months ago by numerous people why I didn’t stand up and publically say something. Fear. Followed by my too optimistic desire to make everything ok, keeping everyone happy. I will not be afraid any longer.

Enough is enough. I’ve tried to say it for months in subtle ways, but enough of that. This will be the LAST time I speak out on a Blogosphere drama, but this is the straw that breaks the camel’s back.

So, once and for all, for the record… I am a free-thinking, free-standing, blogger for ME. I always have been. I have friends that I adore, but I think for myself. I would not ever be a part of something so horrid as these latest events. I’ve been to scared to say this for months, but no more. Read my site for who I am, but please don’t think that I am the sort that will tear you to shreds for what you say here in response.

DISCLAIMER: Big Pink Cookie is a drama free, comment friendly zone. If you disagree with me, that’s ok. This time, something had to be said - for all the times I’ve been silent before.

I believe a standing ovation is in order here…

Well done, Christine.

A post that makes youu think as you read it for 10 minutes… encore!

It was the Spider-man quote that really did it for me. *sniff*

She doesn’t have POWER she has insanity and lots of free time, and anger - it’s a scary combo…

You are my hero. And I ain’t just sayin’ that.

When someone makes the threat that they live in your state, you should be very scared, and they have the photographs to prove it (leaving it up to you to interpret just exactly what “photographs to prove it” means) — may I ask exactly what you would do in the same circumstance? When such things are sent from work accounts, you’d better believe I don’t think it’s “wrong”. Fortunately true friends that know the whole story don’t either.

I followed the link and I am still clue-free. But I applaud the thrust of your post.

You can’t make soap opera go away. It appears in all sorts of fora. But you can always walk away from the soapy people.

I most definetly would like to say thank you for making that clear. Thank you a ton.

Spiderman? Whathuh? I’m almost afraid to ask.

Well Robyn, as you said - I’m not a true friend who received info on all of that. You select which ones you want to BCC me on, normally the ones involving situations that I know plenty about already from the other side. Being threatened is scary, and I would have investigated it too. However, this is not your first or last blogger roast, I am sure of that. I don’t support them.

And Ginger, that was really my whole point … to let the rest of the world know that I walked away from the soapy people some time ago. Of course, we’ve talked about all of that in person already.

I love pie.

I might harass you once in a while … but won’t ever flame.

Me too - apple is my favorite. I had some Key Lime in New Orleans that was really good. I don’t like whipped cream though - or cool whip. *shiver* What kind of pie do you like?

You don’t like cool whip??? What’s wrong with you woman??

I’d have to say that blueberry is right up there on the list. I’m not too fond of apple anymore. I grew up in Maine near the orchards, and ate it daily during the season.

For some reason, Boston Creme Pie really makes my mouth water, but I always feel guilty for eating it.

What you’ve said takes a lot of guts. I’ve been watching from the sidelines for a long time and I’ve always felt there were as an element to this community that was just downright mean and spiteful.

Let’s not even look at this particular situation, since it seems incomplete, let’s look at how many people have been harassed, called names and forced to walk away from their blog completely.

This isn’t a one time occurrence, this happens all the time. And this is just a build up of all the times it’s happened before.

Be nice. It’s not that big a deal if someone doesn’t see thing the same way you do. Just agree to disagree and get over yourself.

And please get past the idea that this is just about this one time. Its all of it rolled into one giant flaming ball of poo.

I think it’s a texture thing. I don’t like pudding either. I have a lot of food quirks like that.

I think a lot of people have just gotten sick of it being such a common occurance, Syd.

Thank you Sydney, for summing up what I was trying to say. You hit the nail on the head. This wasn’t about this time, this was about all the times.

Oh, sure, you address that Christine, but not the cool whip thing? What do you put on your jello??

You don’t like Cool Whip?!? Oy…

Nothing’s better on a chocolate chip cookie. Now a big pink cookie, I don’t know. Never had one

I’ve never asked you to support anything I’ve done. Only for your friendship. And I do wish you would have replied to my e-mail earlier. C’est la vie.

My favorite kind of pie is Posse Pie — with all the posse goodness baked in. Saddle up! Time to take some blogs off some blogrolls!

*PLONK!*

Oh, my. Plonk has all sorts of connotations (still there, Ginger?) that I’ll have to tell you about later.

But it is funny - I’d noticed that you do get asked quite often to explain Robyn. I never really connected the two of you - no, I’m not a long-time BPC/BlahBlahBlog reader - but your styles are very different. I always wondered why you were supposed to be able to rationalize all this.

And bravo for putting this all into words.

“With great power comes great responsibility” == Spiderman reference

As for pie, not a big fan.

As for drama, not a big fan of that either. I like to stick to my own little corner of the world. I didn’t like drama in highschool, and I definitely don’t like it now.

PS. I have NO idea what this latest blogosphere war is all about. Just thought I’d share my two cents

Oh, my. She said *PLONK*. Does she really mean that?

I can tell I’m old and jaded, because it seems to me like I’ve seen a lot of what we’re discussing before. I don’t know the people involved, but I’ve been through this kind of thing myself. You can stop and walk away any time and you feel better when you do.

If someone actually started harrassing me because of my weblog, I’d definitely investigate it. But I’d be talking to the police, not to my blogger cronies. They can’t help me against a nutbar. When it gets into stalker turf, it stops being soap opera stuff and starts being too serious to talk about on the blog.

PS: I don’t care for Cool Whip either. You’re not alone.

Let’s just make sure the pie is low carb pie. Like a nice meat pie without crust. Or with a crushed walnut/macadamia nut crust. Maybe a cream cheese “frosting”.

Or let them eat steak. Or crow.

Love ya, kiddo. You know that.

People Fucking Suck Big Fat Donkey Balls
What the fuck is wrong with you and you and you and you and you (link to deleted page) and…

Oh get over yourself Robyn! You are making up lies as usual. No one makes threats to you until you threaten them. And trying to make these people believe that Jim was the one who threatened your life with photos is pathetic. Why don’t you start telling the truth for once in your life?

Just so everyone understands…I am the one who told her that I lived in Florida and I have pictures. Pictures of what you ask? I didn’t specify! But obviously she has something to worry about, otherwise she would not be trying so desperately to say face with you. My email her “Only” came after she emailed me, and then sent my previous responses to her emails to AOL TOS, and some Abuse.com. (if you don’t believe it I will forward you the emails she send me) She loves to dish it out, but when it comes to taking it….she is a spoiled sport!

“When someone makes the threat that they live in your state, you should be very scared, and they have the photographs to prove it (leaving it up to you to interpret just exactly what “photographs to prove it” means) — may I ask exactly what you would do in the same circumstance? When such things are sent from work accounts, you’d better believe I don’t think it’s “wrong”. Fortunately true friends that know the whole story don’t either. :: robyn :: July 9, 2003 09:49 PM ::”

This post wasn’t about friendships, it was about standing by and watching something that you can’t support when it happens over and over again. As I said, I have struggled with this for months, because I value our friendship. I can’t fix it though, and I can’t stop it from happening, but I can speak out about how I feel about it. Sometimes you have to make hard choices, whether you like them or not.

*wild applause from the peanut gallery* I admit, there have been times I have been afraid to post here, or to speak freely for fear of being “in trouble” in blog land, so thank you for saying what you said and for setting us FREE!

Bravo. I hate all the negativity you find in blogland. This is why yours is one of the few blogs I still read.

Having been on the roasting end of Robyn’s periodic flame wars, I know exactly where you’re coming from. I had to shut off comments and even considered quitting the blog habit completely thanks to her and her brownshirt brigade’s attacks. And all because I had the temerity to disagree with Robyn. Or, as she put it, because I “stirred up trouble.”

I guess groupthink is an attractive thing for some these days, particularly since it feeds the ego of weak people, but that doesn’t make it any prettier from where I sit.

** This comment removed at the request of Chel. I didn’t randomly delete it, but I am respecting her request to remove it… - Christine **

P.S. Re-reading my comment, I want to make it clear that I’m not excusing or trying to justify any of the actions that may have caused this mess. I just wanted to post that I’m glad that people are feeling less threatened and can talk openly, and (like usual) I wound up blathering on.

Rhymes with “looptid”
Finally. An online quiz that sums up exactly how I feel about all those online quiz takers (present company excluded, of course). What Kind Of Toothpaste Are You? Via Toothpaste for Dinner Further Reading: Looks like Christine and I had similar thought…

James, I just wanted to point out that as a former member of what you refer to as “the brownshirt brigade”, not everyone around Robyn agrees with what she does. Unfortunately, most of them know how she will react if they disagree with her, so they just go along. I disagreed with her yesterday on this issue, and she immediately cut all ties, insisting that I remover her from my blogroll and my “friend roll” (her words.)

I think this has been a wake-up call for a lot of people, and I *hope* it will change the way some people act.

A whole lotta lovin’ is what we’ll be bringin’
For every stubborn child blog out there (see previous post), I am sure there are 6 enjoyable ones I’ve missed. To be honest, there are several blogs I always check in on. And I know they check in on me. We don’t leave each other comments much, but that…

Christine, I was “friends” with her along time ago, and I know how it feels to oneday be dropped because she didn’t like what you had to say. I know that you valued your friendship with her, and that you are disheartened by all of this. I just wanted to state who I was, and try not to make it clear to you all that this guy didn’t threatened her. I don’t think it would be fair for me to allow her, or anyone else, to bash him for something he didn’t do. Sorry if any of you feel that I am being harsh toward her. But you have to understand this is not the first, nor will it be the last time she does this to people who believe she is truly thier friend. I know for a fact she has done this at least 15+ times before you all. It is a shame.

Blogosphere Goes Up In Flames
The blogosphere should be a place for civil discourse of the kind that went on when the founding fathers were debating in the Federalist Papers.

Great. Just when I was considering coming out of the blurking closet, the world explodes.

Someone has lost their *job* because of this? Unbelievable.

Back into the closet I go.

Christine, have you tried the Key Lime Pie donut at Krispy Kreme? Too rich for my blood, but it might be on par with your previous Key Lime Pie experience. Who knows?

Thankfully, there are many doors through which to enter the Blogosphere. I went through the one that involvled mimicking Derek Powazek, reading all the blogs of the upstarts who developed — and continue to develop — the technologies and trends that have made blogging stand out in the mainstream media. They were thought-provoking, entertaining, creative and visionary long before the current crop of popular kids learned what an HTML tag was. And they still are all those things; that’s why they’re the names you see on all the covers of blogging books that line the shelves of Borders or Barnes and Noble. I’m happy to admit that my encounters with the bloggers I read have been overwhelmingly positive. I’ve watched Mena sing “Stand By Your Man” to Ben during karaoke. I hung out with Bloggie founder Nikolai when he was too young to get into any bars. I’ve walked through the streets of Austin with Jish’s arm around my shoulder. Leia, the sassy-haired lady who single-handedly organized over 300 DFW bloggers, was my roommate and still is one of my best friends. And Christine is one of the most entertaining dinner companions a visitor to Houston could ask for. These people, and many more, are my personal “A-list”.

All this is really to say: I live my life offline. I turn the computer off. I go grocery shopping. I hike in the mountains. I play with my cats. And offline, as well as on, I try to treat people with the respect I would want to receive. As nameless and faceless as far-away bloggers may seem, they all have lives that may be, in fact, very similar to my own.

Julie, I would eat suckers with you any day… and thinking of Mena and the “Stand by My Man” karoake night made me laugh. Oh, that was so amusing.

Meeting bloggers in person puts a whole different spin on everything - I highly recommend it. Matter of fact, that may be a good post for this weekend.

Long live the Big Red Button!

*bloop* *bloop* *bloop*

(the sound of names being dropped)

IM-pressive. Not.

Everyone assumes Mister Comment Troll was fired. Has anyone asked him?

Darn. You found me out. See, what I was really trying to do there was impress people I don’t know and, really, have no reason to impress. Those names aren’t celebrities; they’re PEOPLE. Ask them and they’ll tell you as much. That was my POINT.

Yes, Julie, but it’s endemic. We seem to need people to lionize…and to demonize. It all goes around. It’ll be someone else’s turn to hate next month.

Blogging
Yes, it’s one of those posts. About my place in the blogosphere. Today, I read Christine’s post about the drama that happens between some bloggers. Back when I kept a blog under a different name, I linked to lots of…

Very strange. A pity I can’t seem to find anyplace that spells out what the hey happened (I have bits and pieces, at best)

My personal “A-List”? Bloggers who have been around for a long time and have no need to hate. Julie’s not name dropping - she’s talking about those same “A-List” bloggers that we have both met in person and have a great deal of respect for. These are the bloggers that have no blogdramas on their sites. There are a lot of people out there that never feel a need to flame or anything like that.

A really key point I would like to stress again… this post wasn’t about the comment troll. This post was about my “Oh no, not again…” reaction when I heard about it, and my need to make it clear to the people that read *my* site that *I* do not condone such behavior. At the time, there was no mention of anyone being threatened by said troll, so all anyone had to go on was what they saw, and what I saw wasn’t a good thing. I needed to speak up for myself once and for all after months of holding it in.

Chel was right earlier - there are two sides to every story. I know that. I’ve defended these very actions in the past. I’ve talked to people on the receiving end and tried to justify actions. Not because I was asked to, but because I always try to see both sides of things. Yesterday, it was time to defend myself.

Well said, Christine.

I’m a W list blogger, at best.

Julie, I thought what you wrote was great for a lot of reasons, and none of them have anything to do with recognizing some of the names you mentioned. Blogging can be cool, it’s a way to share your thoughts and opinions with friends and strangers, and maybe make new friends along the way.

When I’ve had interaction with people I’ve met online, it hasn’t involved IP addresses. There are people out there doing amazing things, innovative, creative stuff that adds to my life, both online and off. They aren’t looking for a fight, they’re looking for a challenge, or looking for something new to explore, and sometimes they share those experiences with us.

I don’t think the line between being funny, snarky or tongue-in-cheek and destructive, petty behavior is very thin at all. It’s a big, obvious gulf and there’s way too many people on this side of that line to bother with the rest.

And I’m with you — life is lived offline.

And here I thought we were about to get our blurker to blog. Now I’m really cranky.

Right on, Christine. I was totally oblivious to what was happening, when all the drama snowballed around me. You’re totally right here and glad you had the courage to stand up and speak - I’m not always so gutsy.

Thanks for having the courage to write such an honest post.

Guys, I think you all have it wrong about cool-whip. The real evil is Jello, made from gelatin which “manufactured by partial hydrolysis of collagen found in bones, hooves, connective tissues, and skin of animals.” Now that is gross.

Nor is it kosher.
(or should that be Knorr?)

additionally - real whipped cream is definitely better than Cool Whip. imo

Ewwww… let’s not discuss Jello in those terms! I love cherry Jello! *shiver* Now I feel all icky.

Hey Cindy…

My wife told me that this weekend. I was crushed and destroyed and completely grossed out by it.. UGH!

That’s ok Christine, your jello is safe. It’s all synthetic now. Its cheaper to make it that way than from animal parts. (Yes, it’s odd that I know these things.)

((Christine)) I hope you feel better posting what you did. I’ll admit I don’t really understand the “power” she has over people to make them feel afraid…but I guess it’s just that bully mentality that never goes away with some people. I will say that she totally attacked a close friend of mine in her comments when this person POLITELY, open-mindedly, and lightheartedly disagreed with her. I still read her blog regularly because it’s interesting to me, but yeah…the drama is becoming a bit much.

*waves to Laura* And you even spoke up about it on your blog afterwards… which took guts, in my opinion because of all the things mentioned here. The bully mentality, the circle of friends she has that go out and roast you for daring to disagree…

Good for you for speaking up, Christine. I admit, I thought you were a Robyn-follower, too, and it bugged me! LOL! I just don’t understand the mentality of the ones who stand by her and swear she is the nicest person you’d ever meet. I’ve yet to see her exhibit any sort of niceness! Anyway, it’s heartening to see so many people speaking up, taking a stand and not being scared to voice their opinion on this any longer. It should have happened a long time ago, but I guess just now is enough finally enough.

Man, I have to open my blog back up and stop leaving such lengthy comments on everyone else’s blog, I think!

This was not a blog drama, a fight, a war, a flame, or anything like it. I never saw it that way. I can only speak for myself, and I wrote my post because I was upset about something that people have been afraid to talk about for far too long, and the most recent event was just one of many.

It was being talked about, and not linked, for that same fear. That’s unfortunate, and hopefully, people will feel less threatened about speaking up now when a blogger’s behavior bothers them.

Good post, Christine.

Is it really synthetic now? That would be cool. Maybe I can eat jello again?

Ooooh… synthetic Jello. Why is it that that makes me think of breast implants? Oh well, I don’t care - as long as I get my red Jello!

i’m all for meeting other bloggers in person… especially now! i’ve met some great people (like Christine), and like Christine said, once you do, you can hear their voice through their words. it does put a whole new wonderful spin on things.

it’s really disheartening that this keeps on going on… it makes headline news because it involves a well-known blogger. but it happens everywhere… face-to-face even… you just need to learn how to remove yourself from the situation before it gets worse.

Christine - i commend you on this post as it was very well said. i hate that you had to be roped into this mess when all you wanted was to stay out of it. i know it was hard for you to type out this entry and it takes courage to come from someone who was just an innocent bystander. and as a fellow Libra, i know it was hard to weigh both sides of the situation. and that’s why you just had to put your foot down and say enough is enough. i think i was one of those people who asked you to say something because i know you could do it very coherently.

screw the jello and the pie… it’s fried pickles, baby!

Oh… now I want to skip the gym and go to Black-eyed Pea!

You did ask me to do that Kathy, as did others. People that I watched get hurt, and while I tried to say things about it privately, I never said it publically. I wish I had back then, and I am glad I finally did now.

As to whether or not anyone got fired, I don’t know. What I do know is that I have now clearly stated that I don’t attend the frequent “Blogger BBQ” meetings. From here on out, I’m staying far from the flames.

Christine, thanks for saying what you did.

I’ve found that there alot of blogs that the author just can not stand it if you even slightly disagree. Even if you are disagreeing on your OWN blog. They are all about freedom of speech on their on webspace, and will defend it til the end. But let someone else say something contrary on their own space, and the original person demands for it to be taken down or their followers deem the other person to be a troll.

It all just makes me so sad.

What I really hate about these blogwars is that if we try to remain neutral, then person 1 will stop reading us because we read person 2, and vice versa… Everybody loses.

I couldn’t get through half of the replies before I just had to scroll on down and post my own. I’m uh. impatient that way.

I’m adding my 2¢ to the penny jar…

Anyone who doesn’t love a good lemon meringue has a serious problem. And you know what else? There really IS always room for jay-ee-el-el… OH!

Viva la free-thinking, free-posting, free-standing, free-parking, free-agency, free-of-charge bloggers!

Blogging dramas
I’m trying to piece this one together. There are sides involved. Trish has shed some light on it, Christine speaks

I was driving one day…I can’t even recall when…and I saw a lady, and thought “hey…that looks like Christine from bigpinkcookie” and sure…it wasn’t you because…you don’t live here…
and everytime I drive past a starbucks…I think “I wonder if they have pink cookies”

and that is all I associate you with.
sorry for being random:)

oh, you know…I am leaving you the wrong url still. now I fixed it, all better:)

two words - apple-pie. Is that 1 or 2?

I just let the drama build, explode and go away without my touching it with a ten foot pole.
I have enough drama IRL, why voluntarily mess in it online?

hee

Fried pickles should be illegal. Ew!

OMG…Fried Pickles are from heaven. And now I’m craving them darnit.

You know, whether the person got fired or not is SO beside the point. It’s the fact that it was even a possiblity, it’s the fact that someone would be so EVIL as to try and make that happen - THAT is the point. And to the person that said we don’t even know if the person was fired - that is SO a copout. Keep trying to excuse reprehensible behavior Seki. It’s ok though, because I’m a firm believer in Karma. And when it bites you in the ass, guess what? I’ll feel bad for you. Because that’s the kind of person *I* am.

Good for you Christine. I hate flame politics cat fight stuff.

This is so bizarre to me. I am fairly new to blogging, but I just don’t understand all of the behind-the-scenes stuff that I hear about. What’s the point of it all? (BTW, did anyone else read ‘Dear Abby” today? I read it right after I read Christine’s post and was totally cracking up. http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20030710
Christine, your points were very nicely stated. I couldn’t agree with you more. I have really been enjoying your blog…thanks.

“Fortunately true friends that know the whole story don’t either.”

:: robyn :: July 9, 2003 09:49 PM ::

I don’t have a blog, and maybe bloggers who do aren’t interested in comments from somebody who doesn’t blog but I do enjoy reading many, many of them and I have followed what has been happening not only with this particular war, but previous ones where vitriolic battles have consumed dozens of blogs over a period of several days. I have noticed that the comments left about the above person I quoted have been increasingly negative over the last few days. Because I do not have a blog, I do not get involved with the lives of these people, yet when people write on the internet, they become “known” to everyone who reads them. Writing opens up one’s soul to whomever reads that person. And I have read Christine’s blog for the longest time as well as Robyn’s, and I can safely say that the comment I have quoted says exactly what most people have been saying: Robyn has made an attempt at making Christine feel like a “non-friend” because she spoke her mind about something that bothered her. I have seen Robyn grill people on her site to the point of demoralization. Christine’s handling of her post was,in my opinion, to the point, articulate, and most importantly, objective. Yet Robyn comes on here with a biting comment about how her “true friends who know the WHOLE story don’t think it was wrong.”
I don’t know. I never was impressed with her style of self-absorption to begin with. Maybe some of her followers are. But it appears that finally most bloggers have had enough of this “popularity” contest and will be more able to write without constraint of concern regarding what “list” they’re on.

*bravo*

for the record, i started reading bpc because i knew you were outside the flames..

Wowee…miss a day, miss a lot. Not to jump on any bandwagons … I’m all in favour of good ole apple pie… *wicked lil grin*

I was proud of myself that I didn’t know who or what you were talking about as I read your post. Then I got to your comments.

Oh. Good for you. I stopped reading that blog and it’s supporting cast of courtiers months ago for exactly the same reasons. I have contact with enough stress puppies and drama mamas in the real world to want to follow them online too.

You know what you need? You need to play a nice game of 1KBWC.
Or maybe come down my way next month and make some bad art.

Uhm… I agree, and I don’t agree.

And it’s not because of who is who, but the circumstances are all different. In the case of Moxiepop, that was *very* wrong. In the case of Dooce, well personally, I think that was a bit heavy-handed, and her employer she should have gotten a warning, but her posts were the equivalent of buying airtime on tv or the radio to bash her company (and we’ve all done that from time to time on our sites.).

In the case of Robyn, I was there for that one this dude was harrassing her, simple and plain.

To me, I don’t see much of a difference between that and calling her on his company phone, and calling back as she keeps hanging up on him. Informing this guy that he shouldn’t be doing this on company time was the only way to get him to back off.

As far as using such a thing as a retaliatory tactic for anyone we don’t like… I think that sucks. It reminds me of those petty-ass bored housewives that would call child abuse on a woman they don’t like in the PTA.

I don’t think you should be afraid to express your viewpoints, Christine. You present them clearly and with a certain level of respect, and I think your visitors should return that same respect back to you.

Many true points there, Eric. This post wasn’t prompted by one event though. This post was prompted by many, many events - and the fact that my immediate reaction was “oh no, not again…”

As I said before, I have thought about this post for some time. I have tried to say it without being so direct. I have been more direct about it in private. And I had to, once and for all, point out to people that I don’t roast people on my site. As someone pointed out to me privately, they have observed people thinking of Robyn & I as “Yin and Yang” and people assume that because she takes such heavy-handed tactics, I will too. I don’t, and I never had. I needed to finally point that out to the general public.

Hi Christine. I just wanted to say that I thought this was a great post. I am glad I stopped by to visit. I know I will be back.
: - )

i’m not afraid to comment. of course, i also didn’t know that you were supposed to be part of a blog cult, or that there was new blog drama (the last I’d heard was the moxie thing, which struck me as too trivial to comment on.)

I am not a reader of any of the people involved in any of these dust-ups, and while I suspect that’s not a coincidence, the reason I’m commenting here is just as an appreciation of you, Christine.

I definitely was someone who did once have the impression of you being part of sort of a “clique”. But that impression was banished quite a long time ago, because you make such a consistent effort to let people know that you are open to all. You encourage comments from absolutely everyone, you never, ever make unkind or gratuitous comments about other people, and it seems to me that you are one of the more generous people in the blog world in terms of the time you spend in sharing what you know. It has seemed to me for a long time that who your pals are or aren’t is essentially irrelevant to my perception of you. So I did not need to feel intimidated in any way.

I didn’t come here intending to write a little love note, but really it is how I feel. You’ve done a brave thing by being honest about your point of view. It shouldn’t feel so risky to tell the truth (about anything, I don’t mean specifically about this), but in fact telling the truth is often the very hardest thing to do. Thanks for doing so.

Oh my! This is even more dramatic than real life! … but good post Christine.

Comments Revisited
It seems that I’m not the only one who picked up on people going overboard with their blog comments. There is more discussion over here and over here. It’s just something that you might want to give a moment’s thought…

Christine, I’m coming late to the game, so I have no real idea of what has gone on (I try to keep blinders on when it comes to online antics, since I don’t know any of the players well enough to get involved). I do know that I respect you tremendously for taking a stand on something that you feel strongly about. No one should be afraid to speak their mind, especially to friends. If you can’t be honest with your friends, what’s the point of having them? =)

(P.S. Is all this drama what’s keeping you from installing those modules for me? <wink>)